Some days I am perfect, I feel good, I feel happy let’s say.
Then other days I collapse. I feel like the whole world is ending my chest aches, I can’t breathe and I can’t make my brain stop.
How do things get better, I know they do. I have been through it before, but the difference from last time was that I distracted myself with another man. I don’t want to do that this time. I don’t feel it, I have him in my head and I can’t even imagine another man touching me, I feel a sickness inside me.
I think I haven’t fully accepted that we are over. I want to text him, to call him, to get him back but I know it is wrong, so wrong.
I am so lost and alone and I am looking for him in my dreams, hoping and wishing that he will come back to me, sooner than later. But I shouldn’t be thinking like this. I need to let him go because he is gone. He isn’t mine anymore, maybe he never really was mine.