Let’s take it back before it all went wrong

Where do I begin.  I’m writing this for my own sanity. To speak about it .. well type at least.  I’m not really sure how this will make me feel. I’m hoping relieved. So let’s start with tearing down all them walls and take it back to 2010 where I guess it all began.

I was in year 10. All girls school. 15 years old.

I never was confident. I was always just there. Doing my thing. Hiding. Doing well with being invisible. I had a big friendship group. 16 of us all together.  All girls. We never hung around a lot of boys, it wasn’t that easy going to an all girls school. I wore glasses. Horrible, ugly glasses which basically hid my face. Eventually I got contacts and felt much more confident.

My friend, I guess  she was one of my best friends, she got herself a boyfriend. She knew him from small school so they started to date. I spoke to him before on MSN so I guess I kinda knew him. I remember the day she told me they are going out , I remember feeling jealous. I don’t know why I felt this way but I did.

 Few days later we were out shopping and we bumped into him. She got all embarrassed and so did I.  We all went to the park.  When we got home that night. My friend began having a go at me because her boyfriend dumped her.

He dumped her for me.

I couldn’t believe it. I done nothing wrong. I hardly spoke to him. He asked me to go on a date with him and at first I refused. It wasn’t fair on her that I would do this. Few weeks later… I cracked.  He was the first guy really interested in me. He wanted me. I was flattered.

I lost a friend for a guy. It was a mistake I know that now. But at the time I thought it was worth it. It wasn’t. It never is.

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