Finally out of school and into college. College boys ? No. No college boys. I got a part time job and that’s where I got boys. Too many boys. It all went down hill from here.
2012. 17 now.
It was my first day and all eyes on me. The new girl. With the oversized uniform. The first guy who was interested in me was .. amazing. It’s the only way I can describe him. He was so sweet. So cute. He was a year older than me. I was crazy about it. I fell so hard.
We dated for around 3 months. I’m not going to lie it was amazing. I remember all the good times and I couldn’t believe how hard I fell in love with him. I didn’t think it was possible. Everything about him was perfect for me. He was just .. perfect. However, our relationship wasn’t. We were young and he had his priorities. His family , friends, football, I came last. I knew that.
I think about him sometimes , not as much as I used too. I think it’s been since last year that I truly got over him. He was always there, everytime I got into a new relationship he would want to meet up again. It’s like his timing was perfectly awful. The worse thing is, I would have dropped anyone I was with for him. I know that’s wrong. I know that’s not fair. I couldn’t help it, it’s like he had a spell over me. I hated how weak I was around him.
The thing is he didn’t want me, not really. He just wanted to know if he could have me. If I was still holding on, which I was. I always was.
We still speak now and again, sometimes he will message me about the past. Always the past, things we shared, which is nice but also sad, sad that we couldn’t make it work.
I don’t regret getting to know him, it’s just a shame that he never loved me the way I loved him. I was hurt, heartbroken. So I dealt with it in the worse way ..