Before it all went wrong (part 4)

I spent weeks crying., figuring out what went wrong. Thing is boys don’t care, well they’re good at pretending to care, just to comfort you and to get close to you. Looking back I see that now. They just wanted me.

There was only one guy I truly used. I used him as my rebound.  I was embarrassed to say he was my boyfriend.  I just wanted him there when I needed him. I thank him for everything he done for me. He was my rock. When I was falling apart he was always there to pick up them pieces. Every time I had a problem I would go to him to help.  To fix me all over again. He wasn’t fixing me, I just thought he was. He was just there to mask it all up.

I wish I didn’t treat him the way I did. I shouldn’t have used him. I knew he loved me and I kept throwing it in his face. I loved him as my friend. I loved him because he made me feel special.  That’s all I ever wanted was to feel special.

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