You’re my number one

‘You don’t treat me anywhere as good as him’

You’re not wrong.

I treated him as if he was a God.  I was blinded. I made a decision when I met him to be different. So the same things don’t happen again. I was determined to make it work. The worse part of it was at night, sleeping next time him wishing it was someone else. Imagining being with someone else, what it would be like to be with him. The guy that I was in love with but scared to give it a go.

He thinks I settled for him, that he was second best, but the truth is he wasn’t. He never was. I didn’t want to feel the way I did about him. He was always the first thing on my mind. I should have known then to dump the guy I was with, I should have stopped it then. Instead I thought I would ignore them other feelings and try and make this work.

I was more determined on making a relationship work that it didn’t really matter how I truly felt anymore.  When you love two guys at the same time it’s confusing, but when you realise that you’re not in love with one of them, that’s when you start to see clearly.


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