Screwing up

How wrong can you be about a person?
I screwed up , I always screw up. It’s amazing how much it’s possible for me to screw up, in such little time.

When someone sees a part of you which is bad, they always believe that that part of you will always stay.

I want to let go, not for my sake like he believes, but for his. He won’t just walk away, he won’t turn his back even though any sane being would. He loves me so much that he believes we could work. Me ? I don’t know any more.

We could work if I didn’t screw up. I’m good at it, I seem to carry drama with me. I seem to attract problems. I’m going to hurt him,  like I hurt everyone else. It isn’t because I think he deserves it, it isn’t because I’m a horrible person.  I don’t know the reason why, but all I ever seem to do is hurt people.

So for me to stop hurting others, is to hurt myself. To let go even though it’s the last thing I want to do.

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