I believe he is giving me signs.

Who is ‘he’ you ask.. God ? An unexplainable presence..The universe ? Whatever it is I’m receiving them.

Everytime I feel down about myself, that I’m not good enough, or that I will be forever alone, I get a sign. By sign I mean an interest from guys. 

I wouldn’t say I have trouble getting guys, I do however have trouble getting good guys. 

I believe I am being shown that I am good enough and if my boyfriend don’t see and appreciate that then maybe I truly am wasting my time. I know there is a lot of guys out there but I can’t seem to let go of the one I have. The one I want. 

I am being told that I don’t need to worry, there is plenty of fish in the sea. I don’t need to just settle for someone who won’t give me the world. I deserve the world and more. I will get my happy ever after. 

How do you know 

I’ve been in a  few relationships and none have really lasted that long. The guys I have dated have been all very different. In looks, personality, even the feelings. 

I believe we love in many different ways. The obsessive love, friendship love, sexual love, but I believe there is only one true pure love. That one love that consists of all the other loves which makes it so special, and strong. 

I can say I have been in all types of love. If I compare my feelings for each guy I had a relationship with, I see the difference in all of them. I also see that they didn’t really mean that much either. 

How do you really know when you found the one? I don’t think you ever do. I don’t think we know much at all about love. Our world is so scared to express ourselves that we end up damaging one another. 

I’ve been in a relationship with a guy for 10monhs. That has been my longest relationship. Yet neither of us have dropped the ‘L’ word. I’m starting to wonder if the love even is there at all. I’m not even sure how love is supposed to feel. At one point in our relationship I felt I was on cloud 9 but lately that feeling hasn’t been there. Some days it reappears.

I love, love. Love conquers all. All I ever want in life is to be loved.  Truly loved. 

New job

Starting new. 

So, I got a new job !! Same work, different hotel. New people. Starting fresh. Honestly I didn’t want to leave. I liked my old job, It was the people I was working with that was the problem. 

It is true. We don’t quit jobs. We quit people.