Screw up 

Oh shit. 

Yes. 2 days into the new year and already I am fucking up. Can you believe it. I guess I’m not surprised myself. 

I went back to my ex. No no, not the one that left me stranded all alone and broke my heart. The other one, the one that argued with me every single moment we were together. The one that loved me and hated me all at the same time. The one I broke. 

I believe I have done some growing and that I am very mature for my age. When it comes to guys. I’m fucked. I’m a sucker for love, hell I’m a sucker for someone to just love me. 

You know you hear a lot that girls are desperate for attention and love because they didn’t receive it as a child. For my case and I know for many others that’s not true. I had a good childhood. My parents gave me love and attention and still do. I’m not craving something I was deprived of. 

I just hate being alone. I dont have any girlfriends to hang out with. So I look for comfort in a guy, right now any guy will do. However I want more, I want love and care. To be someones priority. It’s not looking good so far. Not even close to it. Instead I’m creating another messy track. 



I admit it .. in my heart I have more compassion  for animals than people. 

I wonder if that means there is something wrong with me, then again how can it be. 

It makes sense.  Animals do not seek out to cause another pain. Animals have such innocent souls. Yet us humans take advantage. like always us humans take advantage of anyone or anything inferior to us, the weak and the vulnerable. 

Humans are monsters. All of us, even the good ones. Sometimes the good ones can be the biggest monsters of them all.