It’s always so hard to find a real friend. Someone who is there for you no matter what.

I’ve never managed to find a real friend.  I envy those that do. I wish I was able to find a true friend.

I blame myself, as always, for not finding a real friend. Maybe you need to be a friend to yourself before you’re a friend to others. To learn to sacrifice and accept fault.

I’ve met so many different people in my life and I’m sure too meet so many more.  Through all the people I have known, I have seen the same trait in all, we are selfish. Every single one of us have been customed to protect ourselves from the evil of the world. Doing so has caused us to be selfish, to stand back and to hold your hand out to help. 

I want to change that. Not the whole world, just mine. To change me, to put my hand out to help even if it gets slapped away.  I want to be the one to show people, or at least one person that there is still good in the world, to never give up looking.

Coffee shop guy

Every morning on my way to work I pass coffee shops,  one in paticular always grabs my attention.

Sitting on the edge. Black jacket. Black jeans. Dirty black boots. Dark beard. Hat. A man. With his coffee and cigarettes. He sits there looking out to the world every single morning, talking to himself.

I pass him and I wonder what his life is like, how he feels, what he thinks. It’s like I know him, I look for him everyday and when I don’t see him I wonder what’s happened to coffee guy.

Amazing how this guy intrigues me. How I notice him over anyone else. I wish I knew more about him,  to figure out how he become this way.

Alone. Talking to himself. Wearing the same clothes. Sitting in the same seat. The same routine.