I wish I could tell you all this before you left but as you and I know I’m no good with talking. Instead I will write it down in this letter, least this way you will not forget what I have to say.
I hope you enjoy your holiday, you deserve it. You will slowly accomplish all your crazy dreams, one at a time.
I want you to know that even though I was so mad and sad with you leaving that I didn’t stop to think about You, deep down I knew how you felt but at the time I was blind with my own pain. I remember the night so clearly, we were sitting outside best buy on the step, I was wearing your ‘Blondie’ top and you was speaking, a lot. Maybe I wasn’t looking at you but I felt every single word. From that moment I no longer felt my pain, that night I only felt and saw your pain. After that day, for you I tried to act like everything was okay. I realized that night that sometimes no matter how much you love a person you have to let them go. I understood you wasn’t happy, I was just hoping that maybe over time it would change. All I ever want from you is to never stop smiling, never stop laughing, never stop being you.
I understood you wasn’t yourself here, and as much as it hurts to watch you walk away from me I wish for you the best, I never wanted to change your mind or to make you feel bad for your decisions, I just didn’t want to accept it, I wasn’t ready to say goodbye, I never will be ready to say goodbye.
You was and will always be a part of me, you will always be in my heart and I will keep all our memories forever.
I fell in love with you even on your bad days. I wouldn’t change anything about our relationship, I just wish it didn’t have to end this way. Maybe I never said it out loud but it doesn’t make it any less true, I am sure that you could see that everything I did was for you. My actions spoke enough.
This isn’t goodbye, there is no goodbye between us.
Just, until next time..