One year

So a few weeks ago was out first anniversy. Our first year together..  what a year it has been. We have had our ups and downs, fights and make ups. However, I wouldn’t change a thing. Not even the bad cos then it wouldn’t have made out year. 

I’m not quiet sure how we have managed to put up with one another for even this long. This is my longest relationship to date. And I hope we will continue to break that record.

How do you know 

I’ve been in a  few relationships and none have really lasted that long. The guys I have dated have been all very different. In looks, personality, even the feelings. 

I believe we love in many different ways. The obsessive love, friendship love, sexual love, but I believe there is only one true pure love. That one love that consists of all the other loves which makes it so special, and strong. 

I can say I have been in all types of love. If I compare my feelings for each guy I had a relationship with, I see the difference in all of them. I also see that they didn’t really mean that much either. 

How do you really know when you found the one? I don’t think you ever do. I don’t think we know much at all about love. Our world is so scared to express ourselves that we end up damaging one another. 

I’ve been in a relationship with a guy for 10monhs. That has been my longest relationship. Yet neither of us have dropped the ‘L’ word. I’m starting to wonder if the love even is there at all. I’m not even sure how love is supposed to feel. At one point in our relationship I felt I was on cloud 9 but lately that feeling hasn’t been there. Some days it reappears.

I love, love. Love conquers all. All I ever want in life is to be loved.  Truly loved. 

Different ways

I’ve come to the point where I  am desperate for help.  

I’m in love with a guy that I believe will never return the feelings. 

He is a 27 year old, care free, live in the moment guy. He takes everything as a joke. I never know when he is serious, if ever.  

The worse of it all is that I believe he don’t ever want to commit and settle down and that worries me. 

He don’t want to meet my parents.  To me that seems like he isn’t on planning on sticking around. He reminds me on how he is a ‘free spirit’ how he never will marry or have children. However he has said before that he would like children . Is he just playing. 

Am I wasting my time with a guy that don’t want and never will want the same future as me?