Relationships 

As I look around I see so many beautiful people, good people and they are single. And not only are they single but they are in there 30s and I wonder are they happy this way.

I always thought I would find ‘the one’ at a young age and we would stay together. I didn’t think I had to worry about time running out. Nowadays we are all too scared to commit. We want to live the single lifestyle. It comes to a point where that expires. 

For me I want children. I want a husband, a home. I want to be sure I’m with the right person, okay I guess you can never be 100% sure, but still. I want to know the guy for a while. In a few weeks I’m 23. I’m single. I have no potential partners anywhere. The guys I do meet don’t want relationships, they just want fun. Even the older ones. 

I know I’m young but that don’t stop me wanting more. I’ve always wanted relationships. Not just flings. I’m a committed to you kind of girl. So what I’m doing now with this ‘fuck buddy’  it isn’t me. It don’t suit me. I’ve got so lonely that I’m just going with it now, it’s going to take some time but eventually I think I will snap, I will get fed up of feeling used and it’s not his fault. It’s mine. I agreed to this, he isn’t forcing me. 

I just wish the time would slow down. 

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I don’t want to love you 

Dont worry. Me too. However how can you control your feelings ? Unless you don’t feel a thing. Maybe we are perfect for each other but we will never know cos we are both too broken. Too scared. Too fragile.

Miss me 

I want you to miss me .. real bad. 

I want you to think about me at all times. I want you to wonder what I’m doing,how I am. I want you to talk about me and mention my name in every conversation. I want you to realise that you’ve lost me. I want you to feel like this was a mistake. I want you to come home,to me. I just want you back, us back to how we were.